Babies who refuse to eat – food refusal

When we talk about food refusal, it is rarely the case that the baby completely refuses every kind of food – it’s usually more that they are very selective. We might even think they’re picky eaters, but it’s important to remember that it takes time to adjust to new flavours. Babies’ appetites also vary greatly – some babies eat a lot, and others don’t. So there’s no such thing as a perfect portion, and you need to look at your baby’s overall appetite rather than focusing too much on individual meals. If you start looking at it that way, you might notice that your baby is actually eating quite a lot throughout the day – it’s just spread out. It’s fine to be a bit selective sometimes. It is not uncommon for babies to stick to a certain type of food for a period of time and refuse to eat anything else. It might be potatoes, peas, cucumbers… really almost anything. It is not necessarily dangerous and usually resolves itself, or is replaced by other foods. Remember that nutrients and meals need to be varied over time – so only eating tomatoes at lunch is fine from time to time – it just shouldn’t be the case at every meal. However, if your baby is eating so little that they are not growing as they should, you need to talk to your healthcare provider and get guidance from them.

Five tips if your baby won’t eat

It can be tempting to use all sorts of tricks such as games, rewards and threats to get your child to swallow a bite or two. The problem is that it can easily turn into a circus that mostly creates stress for everyone involved – and may have the opposite effect in the long run. Here are five tips on what to do if you have a child who refuses to eat.

1. Stay calm and relaxed

   We know it’s easier said than done, but trying to stay calm and relaxed is what usually helps the most. This is because if mealtimes are pleasant moments without nagging and fighting, it is easier for the child to associate food with something positive and enjoyable. And that makes it more likely that your little one will want to sit and taste the food!

2. Serve different types of food – without nagging

   Put small amounts of food on your baby’s plate – or let them pick from bowls. Also, try not to nag. Mealtimes should not be a battle of wills! It pays off in the long run to try to take it easy and be patient. Keep presenting different foods even if your baby doesn’t want them – one day things may suddenly change and your baby will dare to try something new.

3. Never force a child to eat

   If your baby completely refuses to eat when you put food on the table, they may simply not be hungry. It could just be that your child’s internal food clock is out of sync with the rest of the family’s, or maybe they’ve had a snack a little too recently. It is extremely difficult for young children to force themselves to eat if they are not hungry, so don’t push them. In most cases, hunger causes a child to eat what they need, provided that eating hasn’t become too emotionally charged in a negative way.

4. They have their own individual taste – just like you

   Just as you probably have your own food preferences, there may be some foods that your baby simply doesn’t like. Perhaps you have foods that you still prefer to avoid, while there are other foods that you have learnt to like with age. There is nothing wrong with serving foods and dishes that you know your baby likes, on the contrary, many little food refusers may need to have their favourite foods quite often during periods when eating is difficult.

5. Enjoying food at the table

   Some children need peace and quiet to eat, some eat quickly and others eat slowly. Identify what is important to your child. Maybe they’ll be more interested if they can serve themselves? Some children get full when they see a lot of food, so try giving them small portions and let them feed themselves their own food, such as peas. Talking about things other than your little one’s eating at the table also tends to help with appetite. Try to relax and have a lovely time together instead!

3-year-olds are often wary of new foods

Young babies are more open to new flavours and foods than older children, so it’s good to start introducing a variety of foods early on. As early as two years old, it can become more difficult to offer new flavours, and – if you’re unlucky – this phase can last a long time. What happens around the ages of two and three is linked to physical and mental development.

As your child becomes more and more independent, the tendency to be less co-operative at mealtimes increases. Children also often eat more and with greater appetite at preschool than at home, so there is less of a need to eat at the end of the day when us adults might expect the child to be hungry. This mismatch can lead to conflicts and misunderstandings and sometimes make dinnertime a bit more challenging for a few years. Lowering demands and having a little bit of extra patience usually helps.

If your child does not eat at preschool

Sometimes, children don’t want to eat at preschool, and only eat at home. And there can be a variety of reasons for this. The best thing to do is to talk to the staff to see if they can identify any patterns in when your child doesn’t want to eat. Perhaps the environment is a little too busy for your child to feel comfortable? Perhaps your child is stressed by others eating faster than them? Maybe your child wants to choose and serve their own food? Just like at home, the staff need to try to find the environment that works best – but again, without nagging.

Please note that all information above is based on Swedish recommendations.