Sex and libido during pregnancy
Suddenly feeling ready to go at any moment – or is it the last thing on your mind? Sexual desire during pregnancy can go any which way – both for the pregnant person, and for their partner. Simply put, we all react differently to physical and emotional changes.
The most important thing is to be honest with yourself and to listen to your libido. As long as sex feels good, it’s fine to continue having it throughout your pregnancy. The only reasons not to have sex while pregnant are if you don’t feel like it (just like always), if your water has broken, or if your pregnancy is high-risk and a doctor or midwife has advised you not to have sex. Your libido can often be the toughest factor to grasp.
Changes in sexual desire during pregnancy
Most people experience changes in sexual desire while expecting a baby. It’s easy to think that libido would decline or disappear entirely during pregnancy. If you are growing a baby and suffering through nausea and fatigue, it’s probably no surprise that you might not feel into the idea of sex at the moment. When a partner has a decrease in desire, it tends to be related to concerns that sex could harm the baby.
But it also isn’t unusual for sexual desire to increase, and sex during pregnancy can actually be the best you’ve ever had. That’s because the mucous membranes in the vagina fill with more blood, and thus become more sensitive to touch, making it easier for pregnant people to have – and feel – orgasms. The breasts are also affected, and become more sensitive. Some people also feel more attractive with, or are more attracted to bigger breasts and a rounder belly. Sexual desire can vary a great deal from one month to the next of pregnancy; it might come and go depending on how you feel in body and mind.
Sex during pregnancy does not harm the baby
As long as your pregnancy is normal, then you don’t have to worry that sex could harm your baby. The foetus is well protected, surrounded by amniotic fluid inside the uterus, which is sealed up with a mucous plug that protects it from bacteria. That said, you might have to get a little creative as your belly grows. For example, when you’re pregnant, lying on your back might feel uncomfortable and cause dizziness, because it can cause the uterus to constrict the large blood vessels that lead blood back to the heart. Having unprotected sex during pregnancy isn’t dangerous as long as there is no risk of getting a sexually transmitted disease, since that could lead to complications.
Pregnancy sex = new positions?
Pregnancy can be a fantastic opportunity to try something new when it comes to your sex life. If your usual positions aren’t working as well as before, consider exploring new positions that feel good and relaxing. When the sex you’re used to having changes, it becomes especially important to talk to your partner. During pregnancy – and as the busy parents of young kids – sex can easily become a charged subject. That risk is reduced by speaking openly with each other about what you like and what you want for now. Sometimes, being physically close without sex might be what feels best, and sometimes you’ll be highly focused on sexuality. By talking to each other and being clear, it will be easier to understand your partner and keep up with any changes.
Masturbation, orgasm and contractions
If you’re in the mood, masturbation during pregnancy is absolutely fine. However, it is good to know that orgasm – whether on your own or during sex with a partner – can result in slightly more Braxton-Hicks contractions. With a normal pregnancy, that’s perfectly fine and will usually pass after a moment of rest, but of course it might cause concern if you weren’t aware. If you have pain or bleeding, then talk to your doctor or midwife. It may also be good to know that it is not uncommon to have light discharge mixed with blood immediately after having sex – and this is not dangerous.
There is a myth that sex can trigger labour, but there is no scientific evidence that this is true. On the other hand, closeness and touch can result in the release of oxytocin, which is the same hormone that is active during childbirth and that causes contractions.
When should pregnant people not have sex?
If your pregnancy is high risk, then you might occasionally need to take a break from sex, but in that case a doctor or midwife will clearly say so. You should also not have sex after your water breaks and, of course, you should never have sex if you don’t feel like it – but that’s always true.
Please note that all information above is based on Swedish recommendations.
