Your partner is pregnant

Becoming a parent is a process in so many different ways, especially emotionally and in terms of your relationship. The person carrying the baby often has an emotional head start when it comes to bonding with the baby, which has nothing to do with your ability to connect – it’s simply because the baby is growing inside their belly. This is the natural result of living with the pregnancy physically, day and night, without a break. Being pregnant non-stop can also be fairly exhausting – and that’s where a committed, supportive partner can play a crucial role in just how difficult (and/or cosy!) the pregnancy becomes. Of course, you can’t help with everything: uncomfortable rushes of hormones and a huge belly disturbing nighttime sleep can’t be magically eliminated – not even by the most committed partner. But there is a lot you can do to offer good support and be proactively involved. Many people who have been pregnant can verify that they never would have been able to get through it without the support of their partner, so remember that and know that you are invaluable! Plus: you are both going to be parents, and you are also entitled to having your feelings validated. Often, the more you work together to share the experience, the more pleasant the journey is for everyone involved.

16 tips for supporting your partner

Here are some tips on how to make pregnancy a shared experience. Remember that this is general advice; everyone is different and has different needs, but hopefully you’ll find some inspiration and help along the way.

1. Be present for the pregnancy test – that way, you can share in the moment and all those feelings , which is often a lovely first step in what will be a new chapter in your lives..
2. While you can’t help carry the physical burden, you can still see the pregnancy – and of course, parenthood in general – as a shared journey made easier by working together. Building on and nurturing your relationship is never wrong, and might be even more important now.
3. Talk about food, drinking, and finances. All baby and pregnancy-related expenses, like maternity clothes, are reasonable to share. When you are pregnant, there are foods you can’t eat and you can’t have alcohol – so how will you treat the things that your partner can’t have? Talk about it and make sure you’re on the same page.
4. Don’t just go with your partner to doctor’s appointments; take part in the discussion, ask questions and be interested. You’re going to be a parent too, after all, and your questions are equally important. The ultrasound is typically the first visible sign of pregnancy, and can often lead to a bit of an emotional peak in feelings for the baby. If you can, try to attend that appointment.
5. Read up on the baby’s development from week to week, on how the body is affected by carrying a baby, and on what to avoid eating during pregnancy. As the partner, in the Libero Club app you’ll find information intended for you about each week of pregnancy, plus checklists of things to discuss and prep before the baby comes. You can also follow the pregnancy using our voice assistant.
6. The more you learn about just what’s going on in the body during pregnancy, the easier it will be to understand why she may want to throw up from the thought alone of her (or your) favourite food, why you’ve been inexplicably scolded, and why your favourite fragrance has mysteriously disappeared from the bathroom cabinet. It might be easy to take these things personally, but understanding how pregnancy hormones are involved here could make it all much easier to handle – for everyone involved. It’s also good to know that more than just physical changes influence hormones; even as a partner, you might experience a little hormone surge during the pregnancy, which could result in mood swings.
7. Because of the physical difference, more attention might be directed at the person carrying the baby. It can be hard to remember that you’re both expecting a child, and in general, your partner will probably receive more questions. Not just about pregnancy and its accompanying ailments, but also somewhat automatically about parenting and all the practical tasks related to it. You might feel a little left out, but by getting involved in these conversations, you can show that there are two future parents in the room. If no one asks you any questions, you can try bringing up the fact that you’re going to be a parent and talk to people who already have children. Trust us, the conversation topic of kids is nearly infinite, and it’s also a good way to make new friends.
8. Give your baby a working title. Bean, Bump, Dumpling, Porcupine – whatever you choose to call your baby, a name can make it easier to think of your baby as a little individual, and fantasise about what their personality might be like.
9. Talk to one another about the things you might disagree on. It can help you both understand why the other partner is acting a certain way. It might also reduce stress. Discussing your worries out loud and getting your partner’s perspective can help both of you feel better.
10. Remember that some anxiety is normal – it’s part of becoming and being a parent. But if you or your partner are so worried in the run-up to childbirth that it’s difficult to think about anything else, then it’s important to remember that help is available . Your doctor or midwife can help put you in touch with a psychologist or clinic that specialises in fear of childbirth. It might also be worth considering hiring a doula, as they can provide excellent support before and during childbirth.
11. Try to meet other parents-to-be. If you don’t have any friends in the same life situation as you, then birthing classes, parenting classes, or Lamaze classes could be a good idea. In addition to preparing you for the delivery, classes like this can often be a natural place to get to ask questions and vent worries with other parents-to-be.
12. Sing to the baby and pat the belly, maybe when you’re about to go to bed for the evening. Once the baby is big enough to feel, evening tends to be a good time to feel the baby kick, since babies are often active while the mother is resting. It can be a cosy way for you and your partner to spend time together, and the more the baby hears you talk, the better they’ll be able to recognise your voice when they’re born.
13. It’s common to reflect on your own childhood, which is a good way to prepare for parenthood. What do you want to include – or not – from your own upbringing? Talk to one another about your views on parenting, your expectations of one another, and what feels important for your family to thrive. In general, these are good things to talk about after the baby is born, too. You may notice that all of the demands you made on yourself in the beginning simply become overwhelming – as a first-time parent, it’s actually completely impossible to know in advance what it will be like. And even if that means you occasionally re-evaluate your perspectives, it’s always a good idea to talk about it together..
14. Material things might feel secondary at the moment, but getting your home ready for the baby can really help you mentally prepare. Maybe that’s buying those first few little clothes, thinking about what pram to get for the baby, or assembling your changing table.
15. Be considerate! It might sound banal and obvious, but those little gestures can be crucial. Like picking up a pregnancy cushion as a gift if your partner is struggling to sleep, asking someone to move so your partner can have a seat on the bus, or relieving an achy back with daily massage.
16. What to do during the delivery is something a lot of people wonder about, and you can do a lot both to prepare for the delivery and to provide support once labour begins. One tip is also to start writing a birth plan together.

As you can see, all this talking and listening – both with and to one another and others – is a great way to prepare in the run-up to parenthood. How easy it is for you to talk about everything spinning around inside your head will vary: for some people, it will be very easy and for others it may be harder. But even little steps make a big difference – try it and see.

Please note that all information above is based on Swedish recommendations.