Creating routines for your child

The world is constantly changing, and change can be particularly difficult to handle for a child who is already undergoing such rapid personal change and development. As children grow up and become wiser, the limits of reality will sometimes lead to a sense of insecurity. This is due to the fact that children are constantly making new discoveries and learning new things. For example, the world which they thought they knew everything about may suddenly seem much bigger and uncertain when they start crawling. Most children enjoy embarking on a journey of discovery of the world around them – but they also need to feel that they are safe and secure. This is where routines and familiarity play an important role.

Routines make life more secure for children

Routines make the world feel clearer, more secure and more manageable for your child. They become the familiar moments around which all new aspects of life can be arranged. The evening bath is a signal that the day is at an end and it is soon time for bed. When children wash their hands and put on a bib, they understand that it is time to eat. And there are many other small things that you can do to make the day and the world feel more secure for your child, such as going for a walk every afternoon, or reading a goodnight story before your child goes to sleep in the evening. Routines are not about religiously sticking to pre-determined times for various activities – rather, they have to do with creating a structure for daily life in which certain moments recur with reasonable regularity.

The older children get, the more routines can be created around their daily activities, such as cleaning up in the evening when playtime is over, or hanging up their jacket and washing their hands when they get home from preschool.

Good habits have a calming effect on children of all ages

Of course, routines must not be allowed to take over your life, but they usually become good habits that make children feel more comfortable and self-assured. It also becomes easier for children to help out and cooperate when they know what is expected and how daily life is usually structured. In addition, it is nice for parents to establish good routines together with their children.

But as already mentioned, it is important to ensure that routines are not allowed to get in the way of life, which consists of many unpredictable elements. Instead, try to view the routines you create together as a basic structure for daily life rather than an exact schedule. Utilising routines doesn’t mean doing the same things at exact times – it is a matter of developing good habits that contribute to a sense of security and predictability.

Predictable – but not inflexible

Being responsive to your child is just as important as creating a reasonably predictable structure for daily life. Routines and habits must often be changed when children are young, as children are constantly developing and they have changing needs. If your child starts to protest about the habits you have established, perhaps it is time to consider whether they need to be changed? Routines work best and are most effective when children are involved as co-creators of the routines, the aim of which is to create a comfortable and secure daily life – not to create unnecessary conflicts. There is absolutely nothing wrong with changing your mind and trying new routines and habits!

When routines are broken

Now and again, things happen in life outside your established everyday routines, and this is not something that you need to shy away from as the parent of a young child. Your child can easily cope with accompanying you for dinner at a friend’s house late on a Saturday evening, falling asleep in the pram during a stroll in a foreign country, or eating breakfast at ten o’clock at a café in town instead of in the kitchen at home, as you usually do. Departures from the predictability of everyday life are invigorating and add a little spice to life, and if your child has the security of a stable basic structure then it doesn’t matter if your normal routines are broken from time to time. On the contrary, it can actually be beneficial for your child to see and understand that things don’t have to be exactly the same all the time!

Please note that all information above is based on Swedish recommendations.